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The day I met you

Laura Orona Trujillo

I remember the day I met you, every day. I have it fresh in my memory as if it was yesterday. The morning started as anyone else. I wake up with your father next to me. You had not even born, and we already love you. Your father and I were eating breakfast, when I felt the most expected signal of my life. With a horrible pain, I knew that it was time and finally you would be in my arms. First, I did not believe what was happening was really happening. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that I was going to become a mother. Your father started to run all over the house, screaming and moving things. He was afraid, but to be honest I was afraid also. We got into the car, and run to the hospital. We wanted to see you. We needed to meet you. Arriving to the hospital, your grandparents, aunts and uncles were there. They were there for you. It is amazing how nobody of us had met you and we already love you.

“They are your family sweetie” I whispered to you.

Then a nurse took me to a clean white place. In the middle of all the rampage, I felt a weird kind of peace. The things started to go like in slow motion. I was there, but I wasn´t there. The feeling was like I was watching a movie, but I was the protagonist. However, all the things that were happening did not feel real. Doctors and nurses went in of the room, talking to me, then to your father, then to each other, to finally go out of the room. But there was a doctor who I would never forget neither his face, nor his words. Even though the whispered far away from me, I could listen his words.

“… few probabilities.”

He looked worried, but the question was why. The words of the doctors replayed in my head. I started to feel nervous. I took the hand of my husband. He kissed me in the forehead, later in my hands.

“I am here, for you honey.”

I could not respond because a nurse interrupted us.

“It is time.”

Your father and I saw each other. Without words we could know what the other was thinking. In his eyes I could see that he was afraid, nervous, excited but above all I could see that he loved us. I was still choked so the only thing I could say was:

“Okay”

Then a couple of nurses took me to another room, which was cleaner and whiter than the first one. A table with instruments was next to the bed and a group of doctors was there waiting for me.  I was feeling mixed feelings. On one hand I have never been so scared in my whole lifetime. On the other hand, I have never been so happy in my whole life. The time passed, and the minutes felt like hours.

A scream shakes my world. It was the first time that I heard you. A nurse put you in my arms. You were crying in my arms. I turned my face to see your father, and until I saw tears in his face, I noticed that also I was crying. We saw your tiny arms, your little foot, your cute hands and your closed eyes which only opened a couple of minutes and didn´t open again.

I remember the day I met you, every day, because it was also the day you left us.