This shirt smells like him. Clean and smooth and blunted.
His eyes are clear and his heart is big
Like an ocean, but contained.
He will never say everything
Simply because he hasn’t yet defined everything.
And to define is to know, for him.
He is the duty-fulfiller.
But with a side so soft I could sink forever
And ever and ever
and ever
He is structured but never ridged.
Driven but never cold
And takes up a place in my heart I thought was gone
Like a disproven theory when I found love wasn’t as lovely as fiction.
But there you are,
The first boy I’ve written to in second person in years
In lifetimes
Kind and understanding
Goofy as hell
Caring
Like a father
Like the most sincere lover
I just hope that
I’m not building you up in my head.
Like I do.
In my deepest heart I cannot tell
If I want to love you
Or if I do.
And that’s my biggest secret
Right now