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And I Called Her G'ma
And I Called Her G'ma
and the tears that fell in
the dusty shadows of that small room
became meaningless in the real of things
when moments take you to places
no one should ever have to go
to show you things you don’t want to see
even if you need to
if for no other reason
but to sort the realities
of time itself
where the truths that are hidden
behind the arcane eyes of destiny
cause steps to be retraced
and lives to be revisited
while we all, one by one
search for that eternal answer
when in the black and white of things
what does it really matter
when we are powerless to change anything
beyond a few moments here and there
in our own little worlds
when freedom is forgotten as an absolute
and held as a tease just out of reach
….dangled as a prize
that few of us will ever win
when all that we need
to sate our craving hearts
is just so simple, so small
in the whole of the universe
….yet so hard to find
it’s amazing the thoughts
that run through your mind
when you watch someone close to you
….slowly fade away
their life leaving this plane of existence
their eyes looking towards something
…you can’t see
as they silently let go
of their hold on this earth
all the while you pray, beg
and desperately hang on to hope
selfishly…
before realizing
in the end, every breath we take
every thought we have
every step we walk
...is ours alone
we take every moment
and ponder how it affects us
not that we don’t feel, or care,
or see, or know, or cry
but ultimately
we only see it from our eyes
feel it from our hearts
…individually
while silently questioning
…how does it affect me
and as I watched her chest
rise and fall one last time
heard the nurse say
“I think she’s gone”
and waited, holding my breath
as tears pooled my bloodshot eyes
while they tried to find a heartbeat
there in that space of time
that seemed to last forever
I couldn’t help but wonder
what would her death
truly mean to me…..
©LadyRaine
