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Silent Screams

the railing was hot enough
to singe my flesh
but I held on anyways
leaning over
stretching out as far as I could
closing my eyes tight while
entertaining the thought of letting go

my heart beat frantically
adrenalin coursed thick
through my veins
my face blushed fiery
and I thought
this is the most alive
I have felt in such a long time

teetering here on the glowing
edge of today's blunt blade
considering letting go
finally life rushes through me

and I fall backgrounds
onto the wooden planks
bursting into laughter
realizing
this isn't about them
or you, or her
or him
or us

Its about me
and for the first time
in a very long time
I feel alive

halfway sane
partially right
still not whole
and so
completely
incomplete

but definitely alive

©LadyRaine