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Misgiving Destiny

beneath skies that wore magenta ribbons
listening to the restless rumble of stirring storms
I silently watch as my heart’s tears
rejuvenate a dusty, desert horizon

the tears that fell were not the cause of a lost love
but that of one found,
one that would never be given the freedom
to posses the wings needed to soar above
the boundaries and realities of everyday life

this love that I now mourn
has always existed within me
though it wasn't until I had met him
that I realized I had loved him long before
I ever knew the gentle of his face

but as it often does
circumstance denied our possibility
and here with tear laden cheeks I sit quiet
marveling at the miracle of a destiny
that had crossed our paths-leading him to me
while at the same time grimacing the
cruelty of a fate that would never allow us
to actually be

even though I know the heart lives
by different rules-different convictions
I also know when it comes to him
I will always have to restrain mine
…but being reasonable
when it came to matters of the heart
has never really been my strong point

and anytime I pause for a moment’s thought
I find him lingering in all
the unguarded places of my mind
just the mere knowledge that he exists at all
aches my soul so unmercifully

and I just don’t know how to escape this place
where the beat of my heart is composed
of a love that has survived the ages
and my very breath is orchestrated
by my unyielding need to posses it again

and then, for a minute my resolve wavers
and I dream him into all the simple moments of my life
but even there within dreams my truth bleeds through
reminding me, unequivocally, we could never be

and the tears that fall are not the cause of a lost love
but that of one found,
one that will never be given the liberty
to know the truths still tucked safely within the bends
forever protected from a “happily ever after” end

© LadyRaine