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Slow Ticking Clocks

early morning steeped faltering hours
as today’s resolve dissipated
into the crimson blush slowly swallowing
a mid-January's full moon
and there where my minds truth betrayed
my hearts innocence
my lips silently mouthed the words
“did he ever really love me at all”

and how perfect then at that very moment
“you can’t always get what you want”
started playing low on the radio
and so completely invaded my thoughts
as a wicked little dance of “I told you so”
wrapped around my emptiness

and I tried to tell myself that I did know
but I really didn’t…
…I just loved
with the whole of my heart
and for that I will never be regretful

just sometimes I don’t remember
and the plan to forget fades
letting my minds design to survive him fail
then I find myself wishing things were different

and wafts of coffee stir but don’t mix with 3 am
there where ambiguous minutes expand bended time
dragging me slowly along behind
spinning sanity upon a table of uncertainty
ever reminding me of my place in this space
of slow ticking clocks

and there between a pause
and a tooth to lip trickle of blood
hides a seed, a truth,…a betrayal of hope

and in the end
a profound awareness
of me

….and the vacancy of you

©LadyRaine