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Happiness
Happiness
Is it possible that you may have it all and still not be happy? I’ve always thought the answer to that question was no, after all, if you have accomplished what you want in life, why wouldn’t you be fulfilled, satisfied and happy? I’m not talking about only having material things. I mean everything people always talk about as goals in life. Since I was a kid I was told: finish school, get a good job, have a family and you will be happy. Imagine how disappointed I was when I got to the finish line and realized I wasn’t fulfilled or even happy.
I was born in New York in a decent middle class family. We weren’t exactly rich but we surely didn’t miss out anything. After all, we went on vacations two or three times a year, got several cars and even went to a private school. I remember that, as a kid I was happy most of the time just laughing and dancing around without no apparent reason, how far those times seem now. Even though I didn’t think much about it, I always knew how my life was going to be (or at least how society has imposed a life should be). It seemed like a plan or even a set of instructions to follow. Go to school, finish college, get a job, have a family, retire and die. I know this is obviously an oversimplification but that’s how pretty much everyone basically thinks his or her life will play out. I had never had a problem with this, I thought that was just how things were and we couldn’t do anything to change it, it was just up to you if the journey was boring or exciting. I’m not sure if I’m still okay with this idea.
I am happy with my family, don’t get me wrong with that, I love my wife and my children and wouldn’t trade them for anything; however, I have had for a long time the feeling as if something was missing or just not right. My everyday consist basically of this: get up, have breakfast, brush teeth, drive kids to school, get to work, drive back home, sleep, lather, rinse, repeat. On weekends we go out as a family or stay at home and do fun stuff, or I just go out with my friends or do some hobby I have. The fact that I seemingly have a perfect life bothers me a lot. Why would someone with a life like mine not be happy?
I know that a thought can be a man’s destructor, so I needed to finish with this thoughts of unsatisfaction or else they would consume me. So I decided to take a sabbatical year to find something that could satisfy me. I wanted to go on with my whole family but my wife didn’t like the idea of taking the kids off school or leaving them so she told me to go on by myself and so I did.
I went on to many cities and visited many monuments, but that was just not my thing. Then I decided to go on and try extreme sports, those sure rushed my heart and made me felt amazing but got boring after a while. I got myself into amazing parties and concerts and got to try all kinds of drugs there, those were feelings I’m sure I will never forget, but I realized that was just fake and non-lasting happiness so I cut them off after some time. Since those things failed I went on for help with the classics. I started on literature and philosophy, and I got to know many different theories many people believed were to key to happiness. They surely were interesting but had many flaws or so do I believe so I stopped trying to follow them. So I went on to try my last journey, I went with monks. I had always admired those people, they have nothing or do nothing (or so it seems), yet I have seen studies that categorize them into the happiest people in the planet. They were reluctant at first to let me in, but after a while they let me stay in for a while. True meditation was one of the most relaxing things I have ever done, but I was an active person and I believe doing this all day wouldn’t get me happiness. They also taught me deep stuff about life and its connection to the cosmos and it was cool but not enough for me.
Disappointed, I was going to get back home. I got to the nearest train station to leave town when I saw a kid in the middle of the street. A car almost hit him but he didn’t notice it so he went on but with an insanely slow pace. As a bus approached I couldn’t help myself but move the kid out of the way. The kid fell and his parents came right away crying with happiness because their kid was saved. How sarcastic it was that at the end of my life was when I discovered what true happiness was.
