soaking
I am soaking
never knowing what is coming, never knowing which way is up
life has a way of knocking me down, throwing me away and spitting me out so I never have a chance to breathe for too long
it is only love that frees me
but it never stays
it is only peace that can take me to a higher place
but
I cant achieve it
there is nothing that I can do to feel up to the challenge of punching life out, the way it deserves, the way I need to, the way I want to
cursing my way out of the nothing I've become within the web of lies and decietful ways of the world. people, places and things and without knowledge, power and existence
I just continue to sail through the earth's core
with nothing to show for it
my consciousness allows me to fake my way through so-called happiness
smiling to conceal the worst fears that come true before my eyes
soaking
I am soaking in it
shit that I can't control, love that hurts me and hate that eats me up inside
it has me stagnant
and I don't see a way out of it ........
that's what scares me
that's what scares me the most
..............................cause there's no way out
of my head