Dad was always there,
My back never bare.
But things that happened to me,
I pray will never repeat.
Because to me I will never miss being young,
To me I don't remember any fun,
All I remember: missing you.
You're a pathetic excuse,
Just one reason, I can't put down that booze.
While everyone had their moms,
Inside I felt bombs,
Tears always down my cheeks:
I couldn't even sneak;
A picture of you.
Up until the funeral I had no view of you,
No record of who you were,
And to realize I resembled you -
It broke my pretty little heart.
But to you, then,
On that day I was a dart.
I clung to you,
afraid you'd walk away just as quickly as before - that's your queue.
Will you stay?
Will you go?
Only time will tell,
As it becomes another blow.
Author's Notes/Comments:
As a child, my mother had been in and out of my life. Finally she disapearred for 4 years. I never heard from her and when she came back it had sparked and started my depression. This poem is about a little of how I feel about her. To this day we dont have a good relationship and she's pregnant. So it breaks my heart to know one kid gets the childhood me and my brother should have had and I get to be the audience and watch the way I should've grown up and see the expierences I should have gotten to grow up with. I get watch my mom raise a kid - when she walked out on me. It's very hard for me to speak and write about my relationship with her because so many angry emotions and feelings pour out. And I never get answers so unfortuanally I will never know the reason why she did what she did. comment and leave opinions and anyone feel free to PM me if you need to talk about absolutly anything. I will listen to everyone and anyone and I will make sure to be there all the time - anytime anyone needs me to be. xoxo
Your poem is awesome. I am
Your poem is awesome. I am glad to see you have an insight into your feelings and an outlet to express them. I do not know you, or your mother, but I have great faith that you are an intelligent lady who was conceived in love. How deep that love runs through your veins is only something you know---but my wish is that you have the courage and strength to fully process all the turmoil both of your parents have caused you in order to one day share love in its greatest capacity (unconditionally), and share that love with your own offspring, and forgive both of your parents for their mistakes, neglects, and for feeding into your drama---which the latter most times, from what I have seen does the most damage. It is usually what 'finishes off' the individual who comes from a 'broken home' and places them in what seems to be, (from personal experience), a perpetual state of mind that severs them for life, from any hope or the ability to love another without condition. Be aware of your 'childhood schemas'---best of luck and good wishes!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCwe2WftI7Y (it takes two!!!)
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http://www.schematherapy.com/id63.htm
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...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."
"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "