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please go away from me,

i cannot love



i crack at the edges

i gag

in despair



i have loved before,

with a heart full of hydrogen

i said

forever

with hands full of silk

i touched

those deepest

places

with eyes like a compass

i worshipped

his every move



please go away,

i cannot love                 again

i cannot cry in anyones arms

there are no tears but

those that are alone there is no cutting pain just

stretchmarks from too many days



you loved before

you wanted to marry someone

before me you had a soulmate she gave you chameleons

and you held her in your arms like something newborn

don't you, want, to get away

from me

sometimes, and live on a mountain



there are a lot of words

between us, on a page, in pixels and

i cant fit all of them into my heart

i cant fit you and i cant tell you

why



i remember

      making love in

      the cinema

i remember

      maybe, too many pairs

      of eyes

      looking into mine

      maybe, staring past

i remember

      everything



and to be comforted by you and your warm arms

is a lie, you see, we are lying here together



please go away

the sadness has dried up in the sun

it falls a solid and simple phrase

i cannot love

you i cannot, anyone

i have fallen on my knees and surrendered

my

body

to words

please leave me alone so i don't have to explain

why you mean nothing to me

so i dont have to pretend, anymore

that second chances exist