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another midnight greeting.

more hope depleting.

i didn't realize your picture would spur me to remember it.

the way i was before this bullshit.

lately i've been so happy and content to

laugh in the sun and forget about you.

your eyesarmshairsmileskin.

But by god you are beautiful.

Don't pity me for admiting it, i'm not ashamed.

It was a modest, unambitious thing to say.

I know you are gone and I will only look at you from far away.

I know its all done and I better be ok, be ok quick or

I'll die from this disease.

I saw your picture,

and remembered me.



I miss you because when I was with you

I became a vessel, gliding smooth.

I floated over the ocean,

I watched the rising moon.

Now I'm in another water,

safer, darker, colder, hotter?

I don't know.

But I'm not alone anymore.

He's here, and I feel fondly for him.

His eyesarmshairsmileskin.

Its a weird feeling.

I can't decide if this is healing,

or if I did jump off of that cliff and kill myself.

Safer, darker, heaven, hell?

Because love is something I fail to recognize.

Do I have it, and doubt it?

Is this life without it?

I look at you and see me through your eyes.

I'm looking pretty fucked up, pretty nice.

I feel no need to apologize.

safer, darker, colder, ice.