I do not return to saturday mornings waking on his skin
warm in tangled blankets
seshes at 3 am
kisses from lips that speak easy of love
instead i return to grayness
because i never lived a life without him
i return to my own bed/
and its sheets might feel cold alone...
but he no longer speaks easy of love
his lips no longer grace softness on my body
he is all hardness now,
says he's like my father- a quick, cold, mean
sort of man
says he's like my father-
well i do not love him
i do not love him, although i wish i did
so i could sink into something safe
but he is not safe on saturday mornings
he is hard and far away
while i sleep alone in cold sheets