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The Rape of the Snack
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Fun Poems The consequence that follows social sins
Is rarely worth the gain in happy grins,
And yet, fulfilling wishes of the heart
Makes thoughts of social graces soon depart.
Such cares ne'er plague the mind of James Montroy,
Whose life is spent pursuing earthly joy.
He spies his prey reposing on the bed
And deep desires begin to fill his head.
He neither seeks to woo nor love profess,
But tears the paper of the clean brown dress.
The M&M's lie naked and expos'd,
And cocoa's children meet with their betroth'd:
They pour into the hungry mouth of James,
Like sewage pump'd into the mighty Thames.
He fills his belly, and engorg'd he lies
Outstretch'd, the empty packet at his side.
But once aris'n, he whispers a farewell,
Bent low o'er Mother's ear so not to yell.
He strolls the streets, and from all sides eyes glare:
"He should brush up his manners and his hair;
"The hairless moustache on his lip is smear'd,
"Of candied blood or feces is his beard."
Poor James can wipe the smudges from his face,
But ne'er can clean the stain of his disgrace.
A phantom shadow lingers 'neath his nose,
The fountainhead of all his social woes.
His Mother dear shall hang her head in shame,
Her social power crippl'd, broken, lame;
Still James, impervious to piercing stares,
Spares not a thought for meaningful affairs;
Not noticing his burden of chagrin,
He walks, his mouth still ringed with brownest sin.
