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Teen Choice Awards
I was flipping through the channels, perhaps a little bored
When I landed on a program called Teen Choice Awards.
I thought it might be interesting to see which teens had won
Even though I ceased to be a teen in 1971.
But I thought of myself as ‘with it’ at least as ‘with it’ as I was before
Until my wife told me that people don’t say ‘with it’ anymore.
So I kept watching the proceedings ignoring her little slur
And wondering why everybody looked so young and why I didn’t know who they were.
“Am I really that out of it today,” I foolishly asked my mate
“You’ve been out of it,” she smiled and said, “since 1988.”
In truth it’s been a few years...I think it was 1995
Since I stayed up for Letterman or Saturday Night Live.
Yes, I think Jimmy Kimmel’s funny and Jimmy Fallon’s great
And I’d be tuning in to see them if they weren’t on so late.
No, I’m not a teenager anymore...hopefully I grew up along the way
In many ways I’m glad I’m not a teenager today.
For this world moves much faster than when I was once a teen.
(I’m sure there are plenty of you out there who know just what I mean.)
Perhaps I’m not a teenager...perhaps I’ll get no awards for being PHAT
But since I have no idea what PHAT is I guess I’m OK with that.
After the award show I kept flipping channels somewhat dejectedly
Until I found a Matlock rerun...now that’s must see TV!
