PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

lift me up, or take me down

just take me someplace else

somewhere I don't have to feel

these ever present thoughts

bringing me to a place

that I don't want to be

is this what they meant

when they said that things

would never be the same

after that first time?

the first drag, the first drink

the first line, on skin, or on glass

the first toke, the first pill

the first time they took me away

I never wanted this

but I did ask for it,

when I decided to try

it for the first time

and so now this mess I've made

is all my fault, no longer can I blame

the other who took me, who shook me

who made me feel

things that I didn't want to feel

no longer can I blame

the negligence, the abuse, the pain inflicted

on others, now it's all mine, and I've found

that some part of me doesn't know how to live

without the self-destructive habits

whatever form they take

I'm at war with myself, and it's so hard to deal

so hard to take responsibility for these actions

so much easier to say "I'm only what you made me"

and yet I've made this of myself,

they only made the clay

and I've decided the final shape

so much like theirs......

the cycle has come full circle,

and now it's my turn to see

if I can break these chains

to see if I'm strong enough.

something inside tells me no