exiled from the one place of happiness i can truely feel safe in.
an outcast to the kingdom of heaven, no longer welcome
the ties that keep me sane are fraying
sanity balancing on the edge of a razor
clear crisp sanity is just on the other side of the razors divide
insanity looming just behind the crimson tinged thoughts
nothing can stop me from dancing this dance
from giving into the sharp embrace
no one to stop me from drawing the dividing line
the line as straight as the razors edge
the line so quickly drawn, yet takes so long to fade
sometimes i wish i could fade
fade into nothingness
fade into a dream
a dream of a perfect place
a dream of a perfect me
one where i'm not so fucked up
one where i don't fuck up
one where i'm happy
one where the happiness is never taken away.......
but that's not my life
that's never going to be true for me
everything that makes me happy eventually goes away
or gets taken away
and no matter how hard i try to stop that cycle
it always comes back to depression
one way or another, the depression claims me
and then it finds a way to keep me in it's clutches
waiting for it to end
the death of happiness
the death of me.