The Exile

exiled from the one place of happiness i can truely feel safe in.

an outcast to the kingdom of heaven, no longer welcome

the ties that keep me sane are fraying

sanity balancing on the edge of a razor

clear crisp sanity is just on the other side of the razors divide

insanity looming just behind the crimson tinged thoughts

nothing can stop me from dancing this dance

from giving into the sharp embrace

no one to stop me from drawing the dividing line

the line as straight as the razors edge

the line so quickly drawn, yet takes so long to fade

sometimes i wish i could fade

fade into nothingness

fade into a dream

a dream of a perfect place

a dream of a perfect me

one where i'm not so fucked up

one where i don't fuck up

one where i'm happy

one where the happiness is never taken away.......

but that's not my life

that's never going to be true for me

everything that makes me happy eventually goes away

or gets taken away

and no matter how hard i try to stop that cycle

it always comes back to depression

one way or another, the depression claims me

and then it finds a way to keep me in it's clutches

waiting for it to end



the death of happiness

the death of me.

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