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what is it inside me that pains me so today...

perhapes it is the feeling that i must own my actions...

and i do... and that may be what pains me...

but why... i own them... my actions...

maybe its more than that... maybe its that part...

the part of my that i thought had gone...

the part that likes to rear its ugly head at times...

the most inconvinient of times... when i'm happy...

i'm happy... but then it comes back... and no longer happy...

well... more so filled with anxiety...

i feel it start in my chest and then fill into my limbs...

until it burst out my fingers as i try to keep it out of my mouth...

i don't want to let it out like that... but it would be best...

i don't really know what this is that pains me so...

i just know that i have to bear through it... just breath...