Version 2.0
I can't pretend I don't love him though I try and try
Even though my soil is cracked and he waters it with lies
His roots are too deep inside of me
So God let lightening strike me down to set me free
For he uses our leaves to shelter him
And I feel no different than the rest of them
He can't understand why only my twigs grow
And is hurt by what I don't say or let my dry bark show
I was willing to give him my nutrients, my all
So he could survive his winter and fall
He and I connect like the branches on a tornado tree
So maybe time is needed to untangle me
Like seeds on the ground I dig in and pray
His storm clouds will clear and fade away
He may flourish or he may not
But I hope he finds what he has sought
With a cool breeze and time he will make his way
To being the tree no wind could sway
Not weak with rot, but clean in a tornado-less sky
Similar to a new sapling
Bending with eager for what ahead may lie
Version 1.0
Knife in the back, the front, the sides
I try to escape you through prayers and cries
God, what hold does he have on me?
He gives nothing, but takes his share of plenty
He uses women and treats them like day old trash
The same as a pimp getting paid with blood and cash
I was willing to give my him my all, my everything
In hopes that one day I would adorn his ring
But when I saw what I saw, I should have never looked back
Because my eyes told my heart to break like a heart attack
He questions why I can't say it, or show him more
But most days, I feel just like one of his whores
I'm still here and remain, but question why
Even now that I stopped believing his lies
Who knows, God, what your will may be
But he and I connect like branches on a tornado tree
Like roots to the ground I fight to cling, in case one day
He becomes a man, that pushes his demons away
I sometimes wish the branches would die
I'm too tired of having to tell him goodbye
My heart shreds into a million pieces
and lays like Party confetti in the floor's creases'
He may change or he may not
But I pray he finds the peace he’s always sought
That title, the trust, the sober time
Even if I end up breaking off of his sad rhyme
He may be hurt, but he will move on
and realize that clean is like breaking dawn
No drama, no drugs, just a tornado-less sky
And hope and faith in what ahead may lie.