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A little boy alone in his room
talking on the phone and playing games
thinking of people with unforgetable names

I stand before him, I stand before Jerry
He doesn't know that I am with him so close
He's blind to my pressence, like I'm a ghost

I watch as he talks, as he plays, as he smiles
This little boy, so precious, so perfect, so unaware
of his future full of torturous pain, anguish, and dispair

Jerry sits in his chair and laughs
Laughs with the person he's talking to
his laughter is so pure, so honest, so true

He knows his life, he lives it fully
Jerry is everything that I wish I could be now,
but to be that special, I don't understand how

There is something about this kid
that's hidden from the people that know him best
I see it in his dark brown eyes, I see that he's blessed

But why does he keep it a locked away secret?
Why does he not share this precious gift of his
Something is deathly wrong, and I, know what it is

There is something about Jerry that no one knows
Beneath that smile of his, there are TWO things hidden
one is heavenly beautiful and the other is dark and forbidden

What Jerry doesn't realize is one must win
He talks on the phone and plays his games
not knowing how close he stands to the flames

I watch his every movements and I weep
afraid of seeing which of the two will dominate
terrified to find out which will steer his fate

I run my fingers through his black hair
I gently kiss his forehead then I begin to cry
I don't want to see him go, don't want to say good-bye

Sitting there, smiling, laughing, and playing
Jerry isn't affected by the actions I take
It's as if my actions are not real, like they're fake

If only Jerry could hear the words I speak
I would tell him of all the things I've seen
and I would tell him to read Probverbs 4:14

Little does he know how much I care for him
as I wrap him in my arms and hold him tightly
and I begin to weep again, this time, not so lightly

I miss the little boy here in my arms
I miss Jerry so much I can't find the words to say
how much I love him and want to be him for one more day

Jerry is everything and something special
Oh, how I wish I could be myself again
be the Jerry in my arms, the Jerry I once had been.

            - January 19/ 2003