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It devastates me

To look into those eyes

Terrified to see the look

Of horror and surprise

        I won't utter a word

        And you will never suspect

        That I'll depart from you

        Don't think this is disrespect

I don't want to leave

Don't want to run far away

But the time will come

And I shall disappear on that day

         I cannot tell you why

         And it injures me so

         To keep it a secret from you

         It hurts more than you know

My poetry runs deeply

Flowing from my heart

Trying to find the words

To tell you why I shall depart

         But the words are hidden

         Deep in a place so cursed

         Lost from reality

         And things so much worst

We've been together

For a great time of length

You now depend on me

For your advice and strength

         You see me as so much

         Much more than I am inside

         You ask an awful lot from me

         More than I'm able to provide

I am not the man you think I am

Not the man that I appear

I wish I could tell you

But it's hard to explain I fear

         I just want you to know

         Why I don't often look into your eyes

         I'm just terrified to see the look in them

         The day I leave in you surprise





                                    - February 15, 2003