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I’M KINDA JUST WRITING SHIT DOWN NOW.

AND I’M KINDA SCARED THAT THE SHIT I WRITE DOWN DOESN’T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING TO ANYONE BUT ME.

THIS IS MY SHIT, MY FRUSTRUTION, MY LIFE MY STORY.  WHO REALLY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THIS SHIT I CALL MINE.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT KINDA STATEMENT I’M MAKING CAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT KINDA STATEMENT IS MAKING UP ME.  SHOULD I BE TALKING ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR TERRORIST WAR AND COMPARE IT TO ANY OTHER MAN MADE DISASTER? OR MAYBE THE CURRENT BATTLE BETWEEN THE SEXES THAT’S BEEN ONGOING SINCE ADAM MEET EVE SHOULD BE MY TOPIC?  MAYBE IT’S SELFISH OF ME TO THINK THAT MY OPINIONS AIN’T SHIT ENOUGH TO BE RECOGNIZED. ULTIMATELY, IF I STATE MY CASE I WANT MY WORDS TO CURE THE WORLD OF INFECTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN MADE SINCE ITS VERY CREATION.  I’M JUST KINDA TALKING SHIT RIGHT NOW.  ALL I REALLY DO IS TAKE ALL THIS SHIT IN AND START WRITING IT DOWN AS IT APPLIES TO MY LIFE.  AND THEN I WORRY THAT EVEN AS I JUST KEEP BABBLING ABOUT INSIGNIFICANT SHIT LIKE THIS, SOMETHING OF APACOLYSPTIC PORTION WILL OCCUR AND I’M JUST LAYING HERE WRITING THIS SHIT DOWN.  CAUSE MY SHIT IS ON MY MIND AND IT’S MINE ALONE TO HANDLE.  I DON’T THINK ANYONE UNDERSTANDS THE SHIT I GO THROUGH.  I MUST BE THE ONLY BLACK SINGLE MONETARY REPRESSED LOVE OPPRESSED WOMAN ON THE PLANET CAUSE WHENEVER I SPEAK I ALWAY THINK NO ONE FEELS THIS SHIT.  UNIVERSIAL REALITY SCREAMS THAT I’M FULL OF SHIT.  I HAVE BEEN A REINCARNITED SPIRIT WALKING AROUND LONG BEFORE I WAS ACTUALLY BORN NOW.  AND MY FORMER BODY DECAYED TO FERTILIZE THE SOIL I WALK ON THIS DAY UNTIL THE DAY I ONLY EXISTENCE AS MY METAPHYSICAL SELF.  SO, WHY AM HAVING SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME REALIZING MY TRUE DESTINY?  I HAVE A LOT OF SHIT TO THINK ABOUT. WHEN IT COMES TO WHERE I BELONG, MY PLACE ON THIS EARTH, I HAVE CLOUDED NOTIONS.  

I BELIEVE MY PROBLEMS ARE IMPORTANT BUT WHO DOESN’T THINK THAT THEIR SHIT IS OF REAL SIGNIFICANT VALUE. SEE, THE SHIT PEOPLE GO THROUGH HAS BEEN SPIRALING IN AN UNCONTROLLED UPWARD MOVEMENT ON VARIOUS LEVELS FOR CENTURIES, SO WHAT MAKES THE FACT THAT I HAVE PERSONAL PROBLEMS SPECIAL? ON A SOCIAL AND ECOMONICAL LEVEL I’M ONLY A COG THAT’S NOT PAID MUCH ATTENTION TO UNLESS I DIRECTLY EFFECT THE LEADER’S MOTION TO GET WHERE THEY’RE GOING.  AND THEY USUALLY HAVE WAYS AROUND LITTLE OLD ME SO I DON’T EFFECT THEM THAT OFTEN.

MAYBE I’M BEING IRRATIONAL BUT HOW CAN I VOICE MY CONCERNS ON THE WAYS OF THE WORLD AND IT’S VERY NATURAL STATE OF EXISTENCE WHEN MY DAY TO DAY SHIT AIN’T HEARD.  DOES THAT PUT ME ON A LEVEL OF IGNORANCE WHEN I RECOGNIZE THE ISSUES FACED BY ALL AND I DON’T SPEAK THE ASS-O-NINE FAR-FETCHED SOLUTION THAT ENTER MY MIND?  MY PERSONAL OPINION IS THAT WE NEED TO REMOVE OURSELVES FROM THE MATERIALISM, CRITISM, RACISM, AGISM, and SEXISM THAT DOMINATES ONLY THE HUMAN ORGANISM.  IT’S EASY TO TALK THIS SHIT THAT I’M TALKING CAUSE I ONLY HAVE AN IDEA NOT A PLAN IN MIND.  PERSONALLY, AND THIS IS JUST ME TALKING SHIT AGAIN, I WOULD HAVE PERSONAL PEACE AND HARMONY IF THE NECESSARY COMMODITIES LIKE AIR WATER COMMUNICATION AND SHELTER THAT WERE SUPPLIED ONCE FREELY WAS NOT IN SUCH HIGH DEMAND AND WE WERE ABLE TO SHARE THEM ALL EQUALLY.  I WOULD HAVE A SPIRITUAL CONTENTMENT IF THE FELLOWSHIP OF MODERN MAN REALIZED THAT BEING TOMORROW’S MAN IS NOT GUARANTEED FOR LIFE.  NOW I THINK THAT’S THE REAL DEEP SHIT TO UNDERSTAND.  IT’S COMPLEXED AND IT REALLY ONLY LEAVES ME ENOUGH TIME TO FOCUS ON MY OWN INDIVIDUAL COMPLEXITIES. THAT MAYBE SOME SUPERFICIAL SHIT TO SAY BUT I FEEL LIKE THAT’S WHAT MOST OF THIS SHIT IS ALL ABOUT.  THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT, IF BY EVOLUTION’S DESIGN I BECOME, LET’S SAY, A DISGRUNTLE EMPLOYEE BECAUSE THE SYSTEM IS NOT SET UP TO PROTECT ME, WHO DO I TELL?  SEE EVERYONE IS CONCERNED ABOUT MAINTAINING THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL SHIT THAT MINE WILL JUST END UP IN A FILE.  IT’S NOT LIKE CORPORATIONS ARE POOLING THEIR RESOURCES TOGETHER TO HELP ME OUT BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE IT’S THE HUMANE THING DO.  THERE’S ALWAYS HIDDEN AGENDAS TO THIS SHIT AND I HAVE TO DECIPHER IF IT’S WORTH MY TIME TO SEEK OUT THE ANSWERS.  I FEAR THAT IF I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS SHIT QUICK ENOUGH I MEANT END UP RELIVING IT ALL OVER AGAIN AND WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT.  I WANT TO MAKE A STATEMENT, I WANT TO BRING ABOUT CHANGE BUT HOW CAN I ACCOMPLISH SEEING THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD FED WHEN I CAN’T KEEP MY OWN STOMACH FROM GRUMBLING.  I’M ALONE IN MY STRUGGLES AND I DO WHAT I CAN. BUT IF I HAD TO EVALUTE MY SHIT, IS THAT CONSIDERED SURVIVAL OR INSENSITIVITY TO THE PLIGHTS OF MY FELLOW MAN? I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND I WISH CAN CHANGE THIS SHIT IN A SINGLE WORD. IF IT WERE LEFT UP TO ME THERE WOULD BE A TOTAL DEMOLITION OF CERTAIN IDEALOGY.  IF IT WERE LEFT UP TO ME MY SELF-CENTERED WAYS WOULD NOT BE A RULE OF THUMB CONSUMED BY THE MASSES.  I MUCH RATHER HAVE MY SUBCONSCIOUS TAKE OVER MY ALL ACTIONS. I THINK I’M TALKING SHIT RIGHT NOW AND JUST WRITING THIS SHIT DOWN TO UNLOAD AND UNBURDEN MY MIND. MY INDIVIDUALITY DICTIATES THAT AS UNIQUE AS I PERCEIVE MYSELF TO BE, I’M AS CARBON COPIED AS THE NEXT WHO WILL COME ALONG AND TAKE MY PLACE EVENTUALLY AND HOPEFULLY THEY WILL BE HANDLE THIS SHIT BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, I’M KINDA JUST WRITING THIS SHIT DOWN.