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My Path to Darkness
The light of hope slowly dwindles,
And I can no longer see my thoughts.
Everything around me laughs at me,
In my heart this can not be reality.
I try desperately to share my insecurities,
But, no one seems to understand.
Condemning myself while feeling overwhelmed,
Higher and louder the tears fall.
Walls go up around me in a panic,
As I look for a way out or how to get away.
Sometimes any phrase containing love,
Surely means the complete end of me.
The list seems endless in all my troubles,
For the harder I try the harder the fall.
Nothing or no one there to comfort me,
When there seems there is so much distance.
For miles around my cries are unheard,
Just to hear a whisper of reassurance.
That what I see myself as is untrue,
Don't see me through me or past me.
To see myself clearly I must look at thee,
It's difficulty seems unbearable.
To understand why my efforts mean nothing.
I have failed so much, is success in reach?
Questions role nervously through thy river,
Just floating away with no answer.
For who has these answers?
Or are they just nothing to me?
This path leads into my darkness,
A depression that constantly robs me.
How dare I ask anything of myself,
When unanswered questions exist.
Someone begs me to let go of them,
The answers I feel are the key.
The key to the door to set me free,
Free of the unbearable and insecurities.
I vow to find these answers,
Though they seem they weigh very heavy on me.
If no one can help me I plea,
Then in me I shall forever pursue,
The key to the lock of the true me.
October 21, 2004
