Disgusted

I feel disgusted with myself
All I did was try to help
Help you see what's beyond the life.. 
YOUR life, that doesn't set you free

You fucked up once
Left, had no place to go, then came back
Everybody hated you 
So I decided that I would paint over the cracks
Because I know how it is to be hated and feel like the world is against you
I opened up to you and forced myself to give you the trust that I lacked

We got close
I started to trust you
I began to tell you everything,
Always blocking out the truth that I knew about you

"Yes! I've finally got a good person back into my life."
I had yet to find out that you were about to stab me with a knife

I was beginning to actually believe that you were changing for the better
I guess all good things really do have to sever

I fell asleep thinking, trusting that nothing would happen

Sound asleep and then I awake
Your heart is pounding while your breath shakes

You're grinding your filthy, hard package against my ass
Squeezing my boobs with your hands that smell of bud and ash
Breathing and grunting in my ear
Bringing back memories from when I was 8, living in fear

Such an awkward situation
All I really wanna do is weep
You're nothing but a perverted fucking creep!
You're never going to change
& I'm the fool that believed!
Your talk is cheap
Nothing that you say, do you keep
.
You're my damn cousin
and you wonder why your family disowned you
It wasn't for nothing!

All I do is lay there and act like I'm asleep
Maybe if I pretend, it really will be just a dream
I can't take it no more
I can't let this happen
So I get up and act like I got to go to the bathroom

Sure, you didn't do much harm, YET
If I would of laid there any longer 
You would have tried to get your dick wet.
How could you do this to me
After everything I've told you

After I explained how my other cousin and uncle had hurt me
After you knew that the memories still come back and haunt me
After I let you back into my life and tried to get everyone to believe
Believe that deep down you weren't the monster you were made out to be
But there I go again, giving you the benefit of the doubt
Hoping you changed 
I feel so stupid now
Fuck you, asshole!
You're out of my life
One-hundred percent, no regret.

P.S. Fuck with my little sister again and I'll snap your fucking neck! 

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a.griffiths57's picture

Disgusted:

A very emotive poem, you are right to be disgusted by such appauling behaviour. You are also right to question this persons and other people's motives. I hope you find someone you can love and trust also. A shocking but blunt poem. I liked your reply to it all.


 

 

http://www.postpoems.org/authours/a.griffiths57

Invisibletoall's picture

Thank you very much (:

Thank you very much (: