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Terribly Written
she's been thrown around too many times
used and abused.. pushed across the lines
all she ever wanted was to be loved
but they never knew how to love her
in what way, i couldn't say
but what love was shown when they shoved her
and everytime she found true love
never would it last
because one wrong done
and she'd cling for the one
who shoved her in the past
she doesn't know how to be loyal
because no one has been to her
she grew up too fast, her childhood didn't last
and all happy friend filled days .. just seem to be a blur
her life revolves around a long term relationship
and everything else she'll throw away
just to make him notice her
just for the attention today
anyone she ever cared for
who wasn't out to harm
she wouldn't let in as much as she'd want
and kept them at the length of an arm
and every guy has manipulated
every guy had their leash
they'd pull her and push her
so she did whatever they wanted
and they taught her how to please
so how does she know she's worth more
when pleasure is what she does best
how does she know the difference
between loving the outside.. or inside
of her chest
no guy has her heart
every guy does at the same
and she's never thrown away a lover
because their memory always remains
she's made one too many mistakes
and she doesn't know how to make a decision
because when love is involved .. she breaks
so how does she know who's good for her
how does she know where to go
because when true love pops up
she doesn't know the difference
because love has turned out.. all for show
how does she know who's best for her
when happiness comes from her tears
she'd rather be with a man who would talk down to her
then stay lonely for the rest of her years
how does she know the right answers
how does she know not to hurt you
misunderstood because she can't contol it all
how does she know not to hurt you
now my writing is making no sense
and that hasn't happened for so long
but how do I know the answers
between writing what's right and what's wrong
i pushed him away for my own sake
i pushed him away for his own
i pushed him away because i'd cause him more trouble
then he ever could have known
i pushed him away for my master
i pushed him away to spare pain
i pushed him away to stop all the drama
but now i'm just left feeling insane
my birthday's falling on monday
and i hope i do n't get one call
because on that day i wish not to be birthed
and to fade away when curled in a ball
how do i know who's best for me
why don't i give anything a chance
i call myself a hopeless romantic
but i run away from romance
i fall into webs of pleasure
i fall into nights of sin
i let them touch me in anyway they want
and my body ends up in the trash bin
the bags under my eyes won't stop forming
and my eyes aren't as pretty as you'd think
i think i'm so normal, when i don't know anything
and i make myself too good for a shrink
i hurt you.. i'm just one in a million
of those other girls that have done the same
but i bet every night, those girls aren't thinking
about what emptiness from the decision remains
i've longed for you for forever
i've wanted you for so long
but you don't exist
and i'm a waste of a kiss
but remember you did nothing wrong
i don't think anyone will ever figure out
which one of the many she adores
to be beaten, to be kissed, to be held, or get yelled
but i guess.. all you need to know.. is that she was never yours
