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grandpa
If I move on from you is that forgetting you?
I could never forget you grandpa?
Is it crazy to tell myself your still alive? Cause I’m so scared of letting you go!
What if when I admit your gone I forget memories with you?
Grandpa how could you go so soon?
They say it was a heartache but there not sure I need to know!
Grandpa it’s been like 4 years but I can’t go a week with out crying.
I get these flashbacks.
You were in the casket.
You kind of looked like a vampire with your skin so pale you were in a suite! Your face had wrinkles! For a while I was in denial actually I still am! Sometimes I say what if it wasn’t your body! Or what if really that was someone else and you got kidnapped and live with someone else! I like my what if’s more than the truth! I’m not ready to accept your dead!
I know I saw your body! But I just don’t want it to be true!
I would say if only you were alive but eventually I need to come out of denial which scares me more than life itself.
At first, I was mad at you for dying I felt like it was unfair.
There was this one song that used to make me in tears it’s still a trigger for me.
The song was rude it was saying stuff like you stole my heart, cause that’s how it felt.
But know I’m trying to move on and I try and you just pull me back down!
Everyone say its unhealthy to do this!
It probably is but it’s easier!
How am I supposed to move on without forgetting memories with you?
