i am sad
because i don't know why i'm sad
or do i?
i figure if you wanted to be with someone else
you wouldn't still be with me
or would you?
these feelings hit me with an unanticipated force
that knocks the breath out of me
i stare at all these happy people
who stare back in at me
with pity
when a stranger sees my need for comforting
before you do
i come to a frightening realization
as i have many times before
that you may not want me
when you see i'm vulnerable, and troubled by something i don't understand
the weight of that, and this
causes me to retreat back inside my own brain
where it's all safe
free from wondering, "what's wrong?"
when i don't even know