You've hurt me

I am a tool, here for your disposal. You've told me that I'm not a tool of course, but that doesn't change the fact that that's what I am. You used me in so many ways, you needed to get somewhere, I was there. You needed money to buy your eye-candy a gift, I was there. Your family needed someone to take them to bail someone out, I. Was. There... But where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I was contemplating death and destruction? Where were you when I was alone? What? I'm sorry, did my honesty hurt you? God knows that your honesty hurt me, you told me to stop relying on people, that I need to work out my problems on my own. You were mad at me because I was hurting, and now you're the reason why I'm hurting. You hypocrite, all of your advice was flawed, you rely on so many people, their affection, their acceptance, their adoration. You are here to get inside of my head, you're here to make me feel not worth a fight, you're here to teach me a lesson. You're not here to stay, and I have to suppress who I really am to get away from you, I have to freeze up. I hate what you've done to me, you're the monster, a predator after my soul. You're selfish and don't consider how what you do affects me, "brother". You've been pulling me down, and that is why I will never understand you. I hate what you've done to me.

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Rant #1

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