PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I woke up yesterday with a great deal of hangover. While making me the usual morning coffee, I looked at the window but I didn't see the sunlight that normally sneaks into my room through the little gap between the two parts of the curtain. So I assumed it's a cloudy morning.

After 4 cups of coffee and I don't know how many cigarettes, I felt starving so I put on my cloths and ran out there looking for something to eat.

I went to that bar where I have been before, where everyone could recognize me. I sat in that corner where I always sit, where I can lean my right shoulder to that pillar 

I smiled and said to the bartender: good morning

 The bar tender: good morning no … good evening!

I then realized it wasn't a cloudy morning, it was an evening. The clouds were in my eyes.

  I ordered a beer and French fries.

To my left, there were a British and Chinese guys sitting on the corner of the bar rim drinking and laughing. The Chinese got a bit rowdy and start to  talk loudly but not angrily though. He, somehow, reminded me of Jacky Chan. Few minutes later, an Indian got out of his Mercedes in order to join them. He was wearing green trousers and gold looking ring and bangle. The English commented on the Indian: you "goa'a" a sharp hair cut today. That is because the Indian had little bit of hair on his head. The Indian didn't seem to be bothered by the sarcastic remark and didn't reply, may be because he was busy sneezing all the time and complaining about air conditioners.     

 Minutes later, a gigantic African guy, chewing a gum and acting so cool, came to join the group. They formed something like a small rainbow around that corner.

At the 6^th glass, my French fries finally arrived, Hallelujah, a bowl full of hot fries. And because I felt hungry like a wolf, I put my mouth in a distance of approximately 4 centimeters from the bowl and started to grab those fries  aggressively . Within probably 5 minutes I emptied the bowl. That bowl needed not to be washed. I really cleaned it well.

When I raised my head of the bowl I found the rainbow had gone but I saw a Chinese girl sitting at the same seat where Jacky Chan was sitting.

She gave me a bright smile. She got a nicely ordered set of teeth which stimulated a thought in my mind: if  those teeth collide with mine, the tooth I lost, in the back of my mouth, might grow up again, in some kind of cloning . Therefore, I gave her a wink (pretending to be the last Valentine on the planet). I pointed to the chair next to me and the girl instantly came to sit next to me.

We exchanged lovely words and smiles. Then out of my traditional Arabian generosity (or stupidity. take it the way you like), I offered to buy her a bottle of champagne, but:

 She: no, thank you. I just want coconut

 I: what? Coconut! Why not beer at least?

 She: I don't drink alcohol

 Who is this girl? I wondered, She comes to bars in order not to drink alcohol! Some kind of a Buddhist Wahabi or what?

 I: you should drink alcohol so that we may go on the same wave length

 She: No, I don't drink alcohol, only coconut

 I: but coconut is Haram (*) don't you know that?

She didn't understand the joke but that who understood (the Malaysian waiter) fell in laughter to the point that he hit the nearest table to him!

 I, then, asked myself: why do I insist to make her drink something she doesn't like. No need for persuasion. She will come with me for sure, not that she likes me but because she works hard for a living. That is life.

And to the history and the records, I must admit that the lady was so kind with me. She actually made me feel like falling in love with her.

 When she suddenly got up I felt so scared that she may leave me alone. So,

I, exclaiming: where you going

 She: to the toilet. Would you like to come and piss with me?

 I: not tonight, may be tomorrow

 The Malaysian waiter laughed again because he knew this was my standard response to any suggestion I don't like.

 At the 12^th glass, I thought we should just go together to my hotel and call it a night.

As soon as we got into the room, I took off my cloths in full determination to do something good (or bad. Take it the way you like). Then, I helped her to get naked, but to my surprise I discovered that she was not entirely a girl! She had a male organ! I felt so disappointed and so angry at myself. How come I didn't recognize the difference from the very beginning while I consider myself as the expert? What a funny phony expert I was!

So in order to get out of the situation, I stretched my hand to the pocket  of my pants  that was lying on the bed and snatched 200 Ringgits (double the price we agreed upon) and gave it to her/him saying: you should go now. She/he grabbed the money, of course, but made an objection: why should I go? I, then, put my right hand on my left heart (I have 2 hearts by the way. One is a backup) and lied: I have heart problems. I feel I am about to die because I had so much to drink to night. If you stay, they might accuse you of killing me.

She/he bought my lie and ran away. I felt so happy to find me alone again. No need to hire someone to sleep with you. You can sleep more peacefully with your feelings, dreams, memories and your goodwill. And so I did after compensating myself with a pretty song:   

I got sunshine in a cloudy day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBQ2xc6jjJs

====

* the word "Haram" is an arabic word. it means religiously forbidden, i.e., a sin.