PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

In my younger days when love became a story,

I never believed that love could ever be true.

My heart and soul was abandoned for so long,

spirit had no place of home.

Loved scared me to the core, it reminded me

of death and love was just a thought to think.

I never allowed my heart to fully love anyone since

the day God took the only one who truly loved me,

and I soulfully loved her.

I grew angry in my heart and new that God could not

even be of love to me no more.

He never abandoned me, I had left Him out of thought

and out mind until darkness was all I could find.

I fell sick in my heart mind and soul and death to me

was a easy way out, I didn't care my best words

I used for a long time.

Then one day I decided maybe, just maybe God will

hear me, What do I have to loose, lost everything

anyway, what more can be taken.

I started little by little in trusting God and I cried

and ask why all this hurt all my life God.

Why give me all this and allow me to discover it was

tainted from the beginning.

Many whys filled my heart and trusting people never,

and still to this day It's hard.

Then God gave me a new start in life He shed light upon

my heart and dreams that were almost touchable.

In everyday I repented in things I did and things that were

out of my control, I repented for years in my heart and soul

and mind.

I still felt fear, fear that at times put me in anxiety mode,

the trusting in anyone still and most of all death.

I became guilty for wanting to die back then and now I want

to live.

Then it was a straw that broke the camels back where I had to

come to a decision, the biggest decision that would change my

life forever. That was forgiveness in myself. Once i had forgave

myself forgiving others became easy.

Then I had a dream of my Grandmothers house in her house

was a closet, in the closet was something for me.

I woke up and realized it had to be the cross that was taken from

my sisters coffin or the tea set we played when we were kids.

When my sister passed I never had anything of hers all

memories which I am so thankful for. That something that

can never be taken.

Time went on and I never went to Grammas house until after she

past away. For months after that dream I would see a vision of Christ

face with the crown of thorns upon his head.

Then I went to Grammas house one day and spoke to a aunt

and told her the dream. We went together to search the closet,

and when we found nothing she pulls the card with my sister

memorial card, and there it was a face of Jesus with the crown

of thorns exactly they same as what I saw every night for months.

I knew at that moment forgiveness from God was there and

that was the start in Glory of Love from the Father, Son and

Holy Spirit.

Since all this God has showed me more and more through the

love of Jesus that Glory comes with pain, suffering, and from it

all the reward of renewness and home of the everlasting Peace.