I finally understand what you meant
When you said I take
My life, on a leash,
For walks where the sun is shining.
You left me to find yourself
Did you?
I hope the money was worth it.
I hope your pockets are full.
Sometimes I feel like I dreamed you
And then, with the dream close to being uncovered,
I poked a hole in the fabric of us,
And let you out.
My big pillow has room enough for me
You never really did fit
But I can still smell your shampoo
Can still feel your heat…
I reach out in the dark-
Feel around for your bony hip,
Your soft back,
Your long, big knuckled, aristocratic fingers-
And I pull handfuls of sheets,
Rainbow colored and spread thin over me,
alone, in my bed.