Author Information
Working Words Of Loss
Wishing it away
Washing myself clean,
Thoughts, memories, happiness
Wanting to rid myself of it all
Where is the end,
Why does it take so long
Why do i have to wait.
Have i become everything i hate?
Have i become the sad regretful girl?
Have i seen all i can, and cant take anymore?
The question i ask over and over
When does it go away?
When can i be calm and not beaten everyday?
Words fail me,
thoughts betray me
feelings turn negative
The sounds i hear
echo my loneliness
tears hitting pages
small cracking noises
of my heart
Scared of love?
not even close
Scared of intimacy?
no where near
Scared of being left for nothing?
The hammer hits the head of the nail.
The internal soundtrack to my life
is pure sadness, pure heartache
slow sad sorrowful violins and piano tracks
Unable to let anyone in
Unable to let anyone hear me cry
Unable to accept a warm comforting hand
The walking contradiction
pure, true, ever so real
incapable of accepting a hug
yet wanting to be loved
Uneasy in emotion
Graceless in feeling
The ever crippling thought of being cared for paralyzes and freezes my veins.
Why push away those who care?
Why only accept the temorary vindication of my comfortless destitiution?
Solidarity seems to suit my narcissistic subsistence.
Dont care,
dont see,
dont love,
dont give,
dont let anyone in.
We are better off alone.
No pain
No agony
no bitter feelings
Make everyone feel as if you're a martyr.
that way they can see the good and not the bad.
They can ignore the horrible things you've done,
and only see you for your humor, or your intellect.
Give nothing.
