I want to be happy, but enjoy the sadness. I want to be loved,but push people away.
i want to have fun, but enjoy staying home. I wish to be surrounded by people,
but enjoy the solitude. I want to move on with my life, but live in the past. I want to achieve so much, but i feel as if i would fail.
I wish so badly to smile, but i just sit blank faced and sullen. I want to be touched the way one lover touches another, but i remove myself from situations or freeze up.