Why is it so hot today?
My sweat comes out in fountains.
My nerves feel numb,
Shot today...
I don't belong to anyone I guess.
But I never much liked being a quaint possession.
So I'll bleed these tears in excess
Unto canvases that only I have access to
And watch the red in my eyes
Turn into crimson cries
And splash into art
At my feet...
But I can't handle this
All by myself.
So once again I try relying on
That Divison-of-Labor System
I've applied.
The waterworks
Convert the sorrow energy
To light
That floods my mind.
Electricity that pumps the turning cranks
Inside my arm
And forces me to write.
Energy on paper
Through a systematic circle fight.
And some won't let me even have my poems...
Just because they offered the inspiration behind it
They think I owe em?
Invading my lines
As if to strip the final legacy
I wish to leave behind?
This is my goddamn creation
Filtered through some weakened memory
Of you, of them, of us...
But don't you speculate for a moment
You belong on this ride.
Though the frame was made from all your metal love
And tires crafted from your rubber glove touch.
This is still my fucking bus
And I will drive it through the city lights as such.
Drunk and running intersections
Where our streets once made connections
Through a freeway.
But come to think of it
In which ways were you free?
I must've thrown a million speed bumps
At your feet.
And like those blimp balloons
We soar with heads high
Until we find
We're only breathing
Hot air.
Crying to the clouds
But nothing's really there.
So is this what I have?
Some vehicle metaphor
And cheap object comparison?
Oh god, my writing dwindles
When I try to share a sun
And reach for fingers
Dressed with emotion thimbles.
I'm sick of being let down
'Cause when I get down
I can't even pen straight.
Where'd the pretty pictures go?
Or maybe I can seek solace that
Beauty is in the eye
Of the.. beholder..
But what do you behold?
Besides some hell-bent stanza soldier
Clean intent on flipping his own world right over
If it can inspire a line...
So maybe you're right
In finding something in me ugly.
You know, one time... I saw this guy in pain
But just that day,
Nothing was above me.
So I walked right by
Not caring if he loved me.
Yeah... maybe that's disgusting
And how the memory burns hard when it does touch me.
Admittedly, I've painted shady black many a time across the blue
And how it makes me feel more human than you.
And so I want to show this this world
The Love that medicated me
To drowsy eyes.
But more than anything
It's hard to stay dedicated
Through these culminating cries.
So please don't ask me why my precious sighs do last me,
Where they come from.
Because like my coffee
I get my sadness on the outside
And pour the liquid in
To stay awake against my better wishes
To just sleep away what could have been...
Random stanzas that I'll be the Tony Danza to:
Boss of nothing deep -
Just pity rants so blue
So when I glance at you
It's reflex to just turn away...
"I'm walking Sin..."
"I'm walking Sin..."
I heard them say...