I'm still mystified
At my own shadow cast.
At times I think he's someone else -
A fragment of a distant past.
And only when he tans his darkest
Does he resemble me at last.
So I clasp my hands
And say a prayer to the dirt.
"Could you please wrap around me
In a filthy cloud
And show me what I'm worth?"
Maybe then I'll give birth
To an ember of a soul.
But as of now, I can't remember
Anything my angels told.
And I have no fans.
Just endless winds
That blow my words of sand
Across a world that'd rather
Leave me where I stand.
Strands of hair since soaked
In waterfalls of smoke
Sway for no breeze.
And only serve to cloak
My face from honesty.
It's possibly disease...
It's possibly not me... no... please
Don't let my knees tighten and buckle
At my self-applied abundant weight.
No... No... Dear clouds
Just let me taste a sugared puff
Of something chaste...
And maybe then I'll save some face...
But if I could see past the sun
I think I'd wither
At what lies beyond its gleam
And start to run,
Kick and fucking scream
Until I've whined myself to death
And drowned my lies in wine and rum
And monetary green...
How wretchedly obscene
Becomes this lullaby.
These sullen cries.
These random fucking rhymes
That serve no purpose
But to deconstruct a goddamn mind that isn't even thinking fine...