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The Work by Byron Katie.



Byron Katie, founder of The Work, has one job: to teach people how to end their own suffering



What is the work and how can it help you?  Essentially the Work gets you to think in a different way.  The work gets you to see how your normal thinking is wrong.  I like the quote from Byron Katie, "A thought is harmless unless we believe it. Its not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering," because I can see how true it is.  We can think something negative, everyone does it from time to time, but when we become attached to thought, and start acting upon it that is when problems start to occur.  



I came across the work when I was trying to find ways to beat social anxiety, but there are many other things that the work can help with.  What are they?  Doing the work can help in resolving anger issues, coping with depression, improving relationships, decreasing stress, clearing the mind and bring clarity, and bringing more peace and energy.  







So what is the work?

-Find which worksheet is best for you and your sitation

-Next ask the four questions

-Finally, turn the thought around.



Depending on what you are working on, there are different worksheets you can fill out.



The different worksheets that there are (which can be downloaded from the site)

1. Judge Your Neighbor

2. Judge Your Body

3. One Belief At A Time



The Judge your neighbor worksheet is to work through feelings like anger, confusion, disappointment (etc) with other people in your life.  If you need to resolve issues with someone else the judge your neighbor worksheet could help a lot.



The Judge your body worksheet is for issues that have to do with your own body, your physical appearance, health, weight, height, and so on.   In this worksheet you answer questions about how you view your body and what you would like it to be, or do for you.



Then there is the one belief at a time worksheet, which I think is very helpful especially in social anxiety situations.  You take each negative thought one at a time and work through the thought until you come out with something positive that is truer than the original belief.  Confusing?  I will go through the one belief at a time worksheet and do one belief as an example (yes, it will be a belief of my own)



What are the four questions?

1.Is it true?

2.Can you absolutely know that it is true?

3.How do you react, what happens, when you think that thought?

4. Who would you be without the thought?





What is turning the thought around?

Turning the thought around is taking the thought and finding something opposite that can be as true or truer than the original thought, and then find 3 genuine reasons why it is true, or truer.  



Turnarounds can be just the thought in opposition.  Say the thought is, "I can't communicate with other people."   The turn around would be, "I can communicate with other people"  Why?  I have done it before, I typically communicate with people every day.  It is a part of human nature, a part of life.  



Another turn around can be with other people (or the other person).  "People can't communicate with me."  Why?  I don't let anyone inside.  I shut other people out.  



The third turn around coul be directed towards the self.  " I can't communicate with me."  When I think I can't communicate with others, is it because I can't communicate with myself?  I shut other people out because I have been shut off a long time ago.



In some situations you could turn it around to your thinking, but in this example it does not really work.  



As Byron Katie says, the turn arounds are a prescription for happiness.

Negative thought or belief: I can't accomplish my goals

1. Is it true?  Yes?

2. Can you ABSOLUTELY know it is true?  perhaps not

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought ?

-I feel like a failure, I get depressed, want to run and hide, want to not exist.

-Does it bring stress or peace?  of course it brings stress, an unbelievable amount

-What images do I see?  I see a girl giving up too easily, or avoiding whatever situation at hand, and always running.

-How do you treat other people or yourself when you think this thought?  I get aggitated, may direct it toward them.  If it's to myself; I treat myself destructively.

-When did the thought first occur?  Im sure it first occured before I started Junior high school.  However, in high school a situation stands out really strong.  I was going to try out for the dance team.  I went to the three day workshop, learned the dance and had it down well.  Then I learned that we had to find 3 or 4 other dancers and come up with our own dance.  My anxiety stopped me from finding other dancers (and I knew that most were nice girls and would have danced with me).  Point of the story was that I chickened out and did not audition, making me believe that I could not accomplish what I was set out to do.  I had auditioned for choir and for a state singing competition where I had to sing by myself in front of either a choir director or a judge, but I could not find up nerve to ask a few girls if I could be a part of their team.  

-Who's business are you in when you think this thought?  I am not sure.

-what do you fear would happen without the thought?  I would become careless, and never go for my dreams

4.Who would you be without the thought

I would go for my goals and believe that I could accomplish anything.  I would be more free for sure.



Close your eyes and really think about who you would be without the thought

I see less anxiety, more freedom, doing all the things I ever dreamed of without hesitation



Now, Turn it around.

Original thought: I can't accomplish my goals



Turn around one: I CAN accomplish my goals

Reason One: Even thought I have failed to accomplish my goals every once in a while, I have accomplished my goals at least once so I know it is possible

Reason Two:



Turn around Two:

My thinking can't accomplish my goals

-If they are negative thoughts such as this one, they definiately won't take me anywhere



I really could not think of 2 more reasons why those two turn arounds are as true or truer than the original, and I could not think of the third turn around, I guess I need more work on this thought, which will take time.



Finally, embracing reality.  The final step.

Take your original thought, and embrace it.

I am willing to not accomplish my goals.  Why?  I cannot accomplish every single goal that I come across.  I will however do the work and accomplish the goals that are within my reach.  

I look foward to not accomplishing my goals because it gives me something to work on.  

I look foward to not accomplishing my goals because it means I am human, and failure is there for us to learn from.









As the work teaches, there are three kinds of business

-Your business

-other people's business

-God's business



Unless you are living life in your own business, you will not lead a happy and fulfilling life.  Living life worrying about anyone else's business will only lead to stress and unhappiness.



Finally one thought I want to leave, which is a quote from Byron Katie on www.thework.com is this, "The world is waiting for just one person to live it. You're the one."