Guess I never was one for commitment
I couldnt promise to love someone for so long
Maybe that is why nothing ever worked out
Guess that is why I am not so strong
I fear being touched to the extremes
Relief of that fear only happens in dreams
But in my nightmares, where I cant wake up..
I see things happen that I would never wish to dream of...
I fear the touch, the coldness on my skin...
I start to shiver and shake within..
In these nightmares, I hate to admit what I see...
The one I love abusing me...
So when you talk of things like love and slave
That is not something I choose to crave
I dont want to be abused
I am already so very bruised
I fear that you would force me to do things that I dont want
Those feelings forever tease and haunt
I am not the best at saying no
So I am afraid of where I would go
But I dont want to lose you
I love you from the bottom of my heart
I am afraid that I cant give you want you long for
and to be used, I dont want to start
I fear so much that you could hurt me
I am so scared to go too close
That is why sometimes I seem so uneasy
Another reason why I often wonder why I am the one you chose
You make my world a bit brighter
With you my skies are a bit lighter
But still in my heart, my skies are grey
Because the fear pushed my love for you away
I cant make you wait for me to get better
That would be so unfair
So here I sit and write this letter
To let you know that I am sorry and that I care
I hope goodbye doesnt hurt you as much as me
Here I sit and cry and bleed
I hope you find someone much better
Now I think I will tear up this letter....