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Through the silence you cannot hear....

my heart breaking in shards,

You can't even hear my tears.  

A night without you, my heart grows blue,

My mind goes insane and I don't know what to do.



So I resort to the thing that I know the best,

causing pain I just can't resist.  

Its always there for me day and night...

its there waiting patiently for me at the end of every fight



A tear falls down my red, fevered cheek....

awakening in silence in the late hours of the night....

shaking in fear from what was in my dreams...

this pain is worse, way worse than it seems...



Why is it when I am with you I feel on top of the world

But the moment we seperate, I die inside a thousand times

The lonliness is painful beyond words can say

I just keep on hoping and believing in that one glorious day



I worry about us, and our future, enough to make one sick

But I know I would stand forever by your side through thin and thick

When your insecuties get the best of you

I am there right by your side, just to help you make it through



Maybe that is my purpose, to help others, but not have happiness for myself

When Happiness started to never show, I put all hope for it back on the shelf

Now all I can do is long for it to come and be dissapointed when it walks away

For one shred to stay forever, I fall on my knees and pray



I don't know how I got this way, I am starting to doubt I'll ever be alright

Fear surrounds me like a fence, I clench my covers tight

Tears fall silently from my broken and bleeding heart

I wish I never put myself into this, I wish it had never chose to start



Now I find myself angry, so torn and very confused

I let you use the broken shards to rip me apart, with your strength, my soul you bruised

Like a stranger you walked in my life and like a theif you stole all I had

I was so blind to see only the good in you and to forget all of the bad



How stupid could I be to get myself lost in this game

I thought it was love but how can It be when I feel so much guilt and shame

and you just stand there looking as good as ever, taking none of the blame



I wanted to believe in us, I kept holding on

Even when the world said the odds were against us, for us I tried being strong

Then my heart would break into everytime you were gone

and I knew that something, somewhere along the line, must have been wrong



What should I do now, what decision is best

Do I give up on us, give us a rest

Or do I keep holding on, praying that everything will turn out right

But How can I do that when I can't keep doing this back and forth each and every night



Im so confused, I must leave it at that

I don't know what to do anymore, I am afraid that is where I am at

So I will seclude myself once again and hide from everyone I know

Because the pain is too much to bear, I can't take this anymore