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Encourage Yourself
I walk into a room
I see….. people
More than 2
I don’t want to feel nervous
But I do…
I want to go
I force myself to stay
I get nervous
I don’t know what to say
I feel like the weird one
The one who’s not good enough
I know my brain is wrong
But my anxiety tells me I don’t belong
I stay and deal
I try to act normal
It’s hard you know
When all you wanna do is go
Then…. The introductions came
Now only two stood in the room
Eerily they made their way closer and seemed so familiar
Hello, my name is, well you’ll see just who I am in a moment
I am here to turn your entire world upside down
I make you anxious, you get so excited about things when it comes
Those thoughts of overwhelming ideas, that’s me
I start so innocently as one single cell
Then I multiple myself like a flow chart of never ending chaos
Swarming like an angry hoard of bumble bees in the corners of your mind
You can’t
get rid of me
Hi, I’m depression
And unlike like my counterpart who deals with obsession
I, give you a break.
I’m not overactive and turning to drive you crazy
No, I take the wheel, slam on the breaks and bring about keeping you lazy
You’ll want to lie down and sleep away the pain
You don’t have to put up a fight with me
I’ll knock you out like Nyquil mixed with Benadryl and topped off with a Percocet
Who has time to be overly excited when you're just too tired
And together, we’re one confusing ride to the confounds of nowhere specific
The possibility is endless
We’re a sea saw, tug of war of emotions
I’m when you care about nothing, she’s when you care too much about everything
Don’t you remember us?
Well buckle up cause you’re in for long, agonizing and completely meaningless ride
No! I thought I got rid of you
I’m. So. Tired. I’m exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel
The pain
It was excruciatingly devastative and I couldn’t make it stop
So I drank, And drank, And drank some more to make it go away
But then pain learned how to swim and it came back again
Suddenly
I felt alone and in the sunken place
I was drowning in an empty pool and no lifeguard was in sight to save me
I’ve been told that anxiety is a prison you create within your mind
And I’m soul’s tired of being solitarily confined
It used to be real easy to go on
Waking up every day, get started on my way
Be strong, be bold, show no signs of weakness
When deep down inside you feel nothing more than defeat
My weeping has endured for too many nights, when will the morning come
Before you even step foot out the door to face your outer-mies
You’re forced to look into the mirror at your inner me
My reflection, she spoke
‘Cause if I’m being real honest she was all I really needed
Anxiety is only a prison of the mind
And it’s up to you how long you’ll be trapped inside
She gave me the remedy
The remedy to free me from me
It came from Isaiah 26:3
Whose mind is stayed on thee, only then will I be in perfect peace
The pieces of my mind that trigger these inner mes
Deuteronomy 31:6 gave me the courage to encourage….myself
Because even in the abyss that are my thoughts, He’s always with me
Never leaving me or forsaking me
And finally Philippians 4:8 began to resonate
Compelling me to fix my thoughts on things that are true and noble, right and pure, lovely & admirable, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy
I no longer needed anyone else to step in
I had finally learned how to encourage myself
“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.”
Because only YOU can make free yourself from the enemy within
Encourage you, yourself
