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Autobiography: Chapter 6
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Prose/Short Stories Chapter 6
Happiness is so fleeting. It breaks into our hearts and minds then runs away.
This relationship like most others in our lives ended after five months. Five months that may have seemed like nothing, but it can take but a moment to change someone’s life. And that’s what he did. He changed my life. He changed my thoughts that I would never find another who would share this space in time with me. He sped up my growth process to the point that after those five months, I aged in wisdom by at least five years.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. As I said, I was happy. For the first time in years, and I didn’t even realize it until it was too late. Until happiness got up and walked away.
He wasn’t perfect. Far from it, in fact. But he reached me at the perfect time. When I was desperate for something more than life. Not desperate to be in a relationship. Just desperate to let someone in. To let someone into my routine…my thoughts…my heart.
We were together officially for five months but our romantic relationship lasted about a year and a half. That extra year I was too afraid to let go. So I held on to him with both hands. When once we had some semblance of love, now it was only lust.
We only saw each other in hotel bedrooms, in cars with darkly-tinted windows. Before he was content in showing me to the world, now he hid me like he was ashamed of me. But I was the most ashamed in myself for making myself into the kind of girl that not just answers “booty calls”. Instead, I was the one initiating and planning our rendezvous.
For the longest time, I thought I did it because I missed him. Now I know that was not the case. I missed being with someone. Where I didn’t start dating him because I was desperate to be in a relationship, now I was the poster child for desperation. It was a sad picture. One I am not proud of but will forever be painted in the quilt of memories of my past.
That whole situation stopped only because he started dating someone else. That didn’t end my heartbreak though. I had a whole new reason to feel heartbroken now.
