I either push people away
Or I scare them away.
Either way,
I am left here alone,
Wondering why I am
The way I am.
I say I want to be independent,
But I rely on others
For everything
So am I just lying to myself?
I need people;
I need them like I need air.
I suffocate alone.
But when they get too close,
I can’t help feeling
Strangled just the same.
Why am I
A contradiction of terms?
Why don’t I know what I want?
22 years later,
And I still don’t know
Why I am the way I am.