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Chapter 14

The reality of being raped by two different men was a difficult one to accept. I had to remind myself that it was not my fault. By the same token, I could not blame every man I’ve ever known. These men were not human; they were animals for degrading me like this. There were men out there with kind hearts, even a man that would respect me like I deserved.

I decided to return home and face my fears. After all, that was the only way to overcome them.

My parents were angry that I ran away, but it was evident that they were more concerned. They didn’t make a huge deal about the whole situation. They were worried that if the story hit the media and the community learned of my disabilities, they would take advantage of me possibly kidnapping me rather than return me home. Little did my parents know that I was already taken advantage of and that was the reason for my running away.

My mother had taken a leave from her job to search the streets for me. My father and sister helped in the effort after work and school, respectively. When I returned home, my mother did not go back to work. Instead, she stayed home taking care of me. She said it was so she could help me through whatever was bothering me but I knew it was so I wouldn’t have a chance to run away again.

I told her I was just mad because of what she said that day before I left. It was partly true but not the whole truth.

I never thought I would be able to open up to her about what happened nor anyone else. Although the thoughts screamed in my head, I didn’t think I could say them out loud. It would make the incident something more than an imaginative experience I conjured up in my mind. Although I don’t think anyone would want to create such an event.  But it happened, as painful as it is to believe. And I had to realize it happened to countless other women. Women who confessed despite how painful because in doing so they could help others like them.