I really wanted to embrace Zen but it was all out of my reach. I gave it up to get closer to Jesus and all I got out of the deal was a new T-shirt and all the peace makers were shot in the head by hardcore dissidents. I knew not what I was supposed to do. I just pretend and hide out in delusive fancy. The tablecloth is laid out. It’s color is pink. The China is ever so delicate but does not shatter when I throw it. That disappoints me to no end. Shattering glass is such a pleasant image. It’s not until broken pieces pierce the flesh that it loses its charm and becomes a drag. But by then it’s too late to turn back. My fate is sealed. Once more destiny has triumphed over the pettiness of humankind. Broken pieces of glass and jagged splinters of metal scour over the floor. Internal minefields lay wait over all our dreams. There’s no more reason for us to continue in this venture. No more reason.