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So you accept a friend request from someone you never met in real life.  Less than 10 seconds later, you are getting an alert that they sent you a message.

a) Isn’t that kind of really fucking creepy that a person is responding that quickly?  I mean, what is this loser doing?  Are they sitting around staring at their phone or computer waiting for confirmation?  Shit, don’t they have anything better to do with their time?

b) Then you get something like “Hi handsome” or “Hi honey.” Shit, if I approached a woman in a bar with “Hi, beautiful”, I would be prepared to block a knee to the balls or at least be prepared to provide an explanation to the bouncer on why I was such an asshole. 

c) They ask questions like “How many times have you been hurt?”  I’ve never posted anything to indicate that I’ve ever been hurt or that I am hurt.  I’ve expressed righteous political anger but never angst.  I’m a pretty happy person.  I kind of know that it’s some kind of con at this point. 

d) If you want a sugar daddy, I flat out ain’t rich enough.  If you want to sell pictures or subscriptions to an amateur porn site, believe me, I can find better for free.

e) It only takes a couple seconds to click the unfriend button—which will probably be in the best of at least one of our interests.