Author Information
THEORY ON VAN GOGH'S EAR
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AUTHENTIC STONER GIBBERISH
A lot has been written
about Vincent Van Gogh
and his dismembered ear
I myself have a theory
on how it happened
which I am sure
will not be a new one
Vinnie had married
a woman
that was a real nag;
(with apologies to feminists:
a bitch personified)
He tried to support her
and make her happy
but everything he did
was always in vain
It led him to drink
and no doubt
inspired his madness
I have this scenario
in my mind
of Van Gogh listening
to his wife nagging
I can see Poor Vinnie
going apeshit over it
He probably held
a knife to his ear
like, Damn it, woman!
If you don’t shut up
I’m cutting off my ear.”
and so that I think
is the story of Van Gogh’s ear
He, in drunken rage,
was trying to turn off
the noise of a nagging wife
It’s certainly plausible
Surely, Van Gogh wasn’t
the first man in history
to want to silence a nagging wife
9-10-95
