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UTOPIAN AT HEART
I’m a utopian at heart
but I have no delusions of Utopia.
I know I’ll be dead and buried
long before—
long before we can even think about it.
more than just a myth;
an actual paradise on Earth.
I’ll not be remembered
in a perfect world
all my flaws so apparent;
fatally wounded by pessimism.
I watch the fluff of rainbow villages
and fantasies of roaming the stars.
I feel all the dreams
as the air seeps out of the balloon--
indeed---
it was fun while it lasted
but alas the bubble has burst
and the humanoids are banished from Eden.
Not being Milton, I’ll make no attempt
at explaining the ways of God to man.
I’m not even sure I understand
and all the while
I see the cities aflame
with the dispassionate bullets
that prance across the streets
and penetrate human flesh;
the dripping blood
stuns me with its red fury.
It’s all so sad;
retreat to a Brave New World
and soma is not made available
for our consumption.
Systems failure! Systems failure!
Ain’t that the truth
that we are always facing
Indeed. Te bubble has burst
and we are left here in the dark
empty hearts, shallow souls
adrift in this void
hopelessly floating away
in the outer stratosphere
through the space of consciousness
barely clinging to a string;
the illusions were lovely
they filled me with awe
made me feel alive
but like precious flowers
I find them wilting in Autumn air
thinking oh no, not this again
but this again it is.
November 6,1993
