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If Tomorrow Never Comes
If tomorrow was never to come,
if today was to be the last,
would you be at peace with all that's been done?
Would you be able to say you lived true
that there's nothing left to say,
nothing left to ask,
nothing left to do...
...would you be ready,
do you feel worthy to make your pass?
If I knew tomorrow would never be mine
and these last hours was to be my
last moments in time,
I know that I'm not prepared,
for there are many things not yet completed
in my heart, my mind and my life.
I've only recently started
to take the steps I need to take
to help me to accomplish a small
percentage of the goals I've created to date.
I'd be worried about my childrens' fate,
for I hadn't planned out their needs
in the event of my demise,
I'd most likely scramble to make sure that
I can do my best to leave them
in the care of people who are both caring and wise.
I'd be content with most things
that have already come to pass,
for without those experiences,
I could not be who I am today and
I'd not be able to claim having had
a rich and varied life in the past.
But among the things I'd have to do
is break my walls down and say once
more my feelings to
the one whom I think of all the time,
the one who permeates every
space in my mind,
the one who, no matter what,
I can't seem to truly let go,
at least to this point,
for reasons beyond my control.
I've held it back for concern for him,
not wanting to rock the boat
of friendship we're in,
not wanting to beat a dead horse,
as I have done so many times before,
not wanting to create discomfort
for the fact that he sees me only
as a friend and nothing more...
...I'd have to speak my truth
one last time,
if today was the last day of my life,
that even if my feelings he could not return,
I'm still grateful for all he's done
and for him having been for me a light,
the light that has kept me up many nights,
memories of the good between us
outweighing the bad in my mind's eye,
the fact that while I don't expect
his response to have changed,
as much as my feelings for him have remained,
I could not rest in peace knowing that
I did not say all that I truly wanted to say.
Once all has been said and done,
as much as I've told myself that
these feelings I harbor are pointless,
as much as he might not be able to see
me as anything near "his one",
I'd speak my piece to have my peace,
and pray that he finds someone
for whom he could feel
as I've felt for him,
someone who could grow to be the moon to his sun.
Free from patterns and from everything,
I shall be,
the day I can speak unbridled
without worrying about what tomorrow will bring.
