I could love you
or so I would have you believe
and ever dishonest to myself
I manage to call myself
with fraudulent delusions
I twist the contours of my thought
into pretzel shaped logic
salted by bittersweet fancy
no, the worded response
none of it bears meaning
to anything in this life
I can fabricate this yarn
into a wool sweater
or perhaps satin dress shirt
but in all this tailoring
necessary goes far beyond
my mere mortal capacity
It goes way beyond
anything I am capable of
none could be accomplished
& you just suffer—
suffer to be party to it—
party to this nocturnal madness
walking ever silently away
my heart dancing on broken glass
but what more could be done?
The thorns of sorrow prick me
drawing ever reddening blood
It’s enough to make me cry
& the tears do flow freely;
freely and clear to be seen
Moist dew of regret streaming
into some other fanciful hope;
hope to which I eternally cling.
8-2-93