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I wanted you to be it…

I wanted you to be my beginning and my ending

I wanted you to be my hero

I wanted you to be my savior

I wanted you to find me throughout my journey

And when you did.. you only did it to break me again

I’ve always asked myself what if I already met my soul mate and my chance is gone with the ashes

And you came back.. and I realized I the chance was gone long ago… 

A soul mate is a dream that seems endless.. and every dream turns into a nightmare and a nightmare turns into pain and the pain sustains… 

I wanted you to be it.. 

I wanted you to be honest

And I wanted you to be decent and I wanted you to be like me

I needed you to be like me

Same scars.. same mistakes.. a pure heart and an overthinking brain.. I needed you to be like me so bad that I convinced myself that you are… 

But it was all in my head… just a dream… just a nightmare… that does not end.