Lord

I'm angry today, Lord.

What's this fucking test for?!

I can't deal with this anymore!

It's yet another closed door.

Just like every single one before,

I get left for dead on the floor.

I'm just laying here, calling the devil's bluff.

So here I am, Lord. I give up.

It's time to admit that I've had enough.

All i want to do is give my love,

but nobody thinks I'm worth it, so I'm done.

My heart would bleed, but there's no more blood.

Gone is the heart that I once had.

Who gives it's everything, and takes all of the bad,

Who's never allowed to have time to be sad.

No, this heart doesn't know what it is to be glad.

This heart, right now, has a broken road it's at.

This heart, right now, only knows how to be mad.

Lord, give me one good fucking reason for this test!

I give everyone my everything, but all i get is left!

I'm so tired of this bullshit. It's not just in my head!

In the end everybody leaves, just like all the rest.

I asked You to take my sin as far as the East is from the West,

but all i got was another lesson, like You and the devil made a bet.

I'm angry right now, Lord, that's how this goes.

My anger is as deep as the ocean flows.

Heaven forbid I get what i actually pray for, no no.

God forbid I fucking win for once, whoa!

Just take everything then. I've nothing left You know.

The knife in my gut needs taken out first though.

It's fine Lord, don't worry. I'll take a breath.

I'll walk on my own with the brokenness that i have left.

My heart is empty, if that makes sense.

Gone is what it once had. Never to rest.

Far is the path it's taken, with no way out left.

As far away from me as the East is from the West.

Author's Notes/Comments:

Angry tonight. Needed to vent. I'm tired of tests and learning lessons. I'm tired of being taught patience the hard way. I'm tired of being left on the floor. No one really knows how far down the rabbit hole i am right now. I give up. God can have it.