Worshipping Satan in secret,
conjuring these visions of grandeur,
giving in to the rage
being someone I am not just for sport
Doing it just for the thrill,
seeking out these unreal moments,
which never seem quite fulfilling enough,
always wanting more
To go deeper and deeper,
harder and harder,
faster and faster,
darker and darker
Until there is nothing new to discover
and all I have done, as a result is to have chased a shadow;
an ideal, which I can never quite be